And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
