I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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