How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
