We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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