Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
