You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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