Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
