I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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