So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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