Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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