Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The air was thick with penises
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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