Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
