He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
