Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
