i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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