What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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