I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize