im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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