Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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