my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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