i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
