nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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