her vagine was all disorganized.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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