yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
