Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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