So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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