So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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