What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
