I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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