Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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