I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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