I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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