It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
