can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
