You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
