There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
