You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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