How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize