they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
