I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
