she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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