okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
