Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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