It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
