Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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