i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
