i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
