We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
