The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
