Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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