I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
