when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
