Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
