Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
