Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
