Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
