peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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