Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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