Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize