I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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