Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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